Hello World…

Here I am in the raw. Let’s be very clear. I only share my health adventures to help allay your fears from body issues defining you into a weakened, and vulnerable heap of body threads on the floor. I mean, if your intuitive therapist who knows so many hacks to healing is messy, then it’s okay for you to be too, right? Oh that was a grimace? I have solved and understand my body, emotional and mental health issues. There is a balance to juggling the humanness of our flesh with the vulnerability and ache in our hearts. This is why I offer what I do. But I like to do it in full transparency. It is okay to have messy chapters. It means you’re getting in there. You’re digging into your life like a dog in a muddy backyard. Do it. The messier, the better. None of us are going to make it out of this beautiful ether alive. Seriously. So, don’t wear your health issue like the scarlet letter. It’s just a background detail. It’s like the weather. When you walk outside your front door today, you know it’s hot, sunny and blue skies for miles. Some days it’ll scream and take on more focus like in March when multiple tornadoes broke out all over central Texas. But the point is, not every day should beckon such attention to your health. But first things first, please don’t consider yourself weak because your health is under duress. Instead pull deeply. You’ll find that being raw, comfortable with your discomfort are sexy. That’s right. Owning our flaws and our successes make us interesting. Now, let’s go after that baseline. For you and me both.

I’ve told many about my myriad paths, honestly a multi-level labyrinth, of many rooms, but like many stories we retell over and over, each time unveiling a new perspective, more details…this is today’s snap shot. Here are some of my mental and physical health goals today. First thing is fortifying my Austin community. The years of the pandemic, government polarization, and overall global duress, has tightened my lens of meaning on my community.

A little background on this personal share of this global chapter…Months after having covid so hard I was seeing stars, I finally offered a doctor cash to fix something I was sure was making me mitigate sepsis for years - close to ten in fact. I was correct in my diagnosis and am finally on the mend, but in the interim a scar pulled at my hip matrix and left a tear in my right knee. That coupled with weight gain beyond where I ever thought I’d be. I’m a lifelong runner. Seriously, it’s my jam. Thankfully, while I was mitigating the infection in the body with daily manual lymph work, infrared sauna, yoga for pliability and a smile, a healthy appetite for greens, and down and dirty remotes that I cleared the reappearing diseased energy, I invested in a peloton. Much cheaper than a heart attack I reasoned.

So, there are days I feel great, and others I am that pile of flesh threads on the floor! But I know I’m doing it perfectly. I’m not worried about being overweight…I’m no longer exhausted. I have really great days with my blood pressure again. Some days the knee gets pretty snarky, and then I blow up from its inflammation. But here’s the deal, I’m getting there and in no hurry. I mean, I made it this far and a semi truck was supposed to flatten me in 2016, and in 1997 I escaped the multiple tornadoes, sprinting through pedernales state park after a buck stopped to warn me and my labrador. I have so many adventures dotted in smirks, pixelated shiny, dots of things you could never visualize. My life is full and incredibly amazing.

So, in this reality as we currently know it, given the above, I live in the most amazing slice of hill country. I have crazy tales about my neighbors, but I have a herd of deer I talk to daily. We have dodged an anxious snake mother with her eggs hatching under our sidewalk. I have spent a saturday chasing a snake off the backyard. And I have rescued a fawn from being stuck in our fence. When my Leo was passing I meditated for support. When I was done meditating I went outside and was greeted by at least thirty deer, of all ages, slowly walking past me towards the back of my property. I am truly.right.where.I. need to be. And I have realized something big in reassessing life as I veer towards fifty. Plan your own birthday bash. If people cannot reply back to you for the fun stuff, or even the rare call for support, they are good, but they are not your community. They may be a client. They may be an acquaintance. And either may at some time, evolve into a true friend, part of your core community. But don’t put all of your fish in their basket and let it go. You do you! Take that energy and put it to those in front of you. So, as I begin to feel so much better, I am stretching to drive to my Austin community once a month to show up. Just show up. I’m also telling the world about one of my ever present life challenges. Since I can remember, I have felt unsure of who I see….it’s called Prosopagnosia, or face blindness and can happen at a variety of levels. I always awaited for people to approach me, offer me cues. At my wedding I thought I was in a very controlled situation, so, I naturally went up to greet my dear friend Brienne, only to be utterly embarrassed that she was not Brienne. I have tons of crazy sensory gifts. Given the rule of entropy, I assume this can be explained that I was born with some excellent spidey traits and gave this one up for more incredible ones. The funny thing is I can feel everything on a plane. Once my ex husband and I drove into Boston for dinner for the night…At some point I felt a tug energetically, stood up to be an antennae, then Charlie appeared stating he’d seen his dear friend because of me. I may not see your face at first, but I am so present. However, I recently invited friends to share lunch on Polvo’s patio…As each friend drove up, if they were not in their car I’m familiar with, I didn’t recognize them fully until they waved. Why am I telling you all about this? Because I have genius, beautiful ether and gifts, but this is a challenge that has burdened me since I was a kid and Michelle waved at me (she’d tell me later) but I didn’t wave back because I didn’t recognize her. I assumed she was waving at someone behind me. If people don’t know this about me, they will think I’m being rude. I’ve had this happen since moving to Wimberley. I don’t think people believe me. Out of context I won’t recognize you without cues. I want to grow my community but this burdens the growth. I figure if I own it, am raw, it does not have to be a burden any longer.

The other area of life I’m working at is my health, of course. Balance to heal, play, and just be a normal human being. This is happening faster and faster.

And current life mantra? Why am I racing towards tomorrow? I’ve arrived.